Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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