so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
