woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
