I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
