cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Two words: nipple clamps
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