i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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