On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
