We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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