Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize