call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
