He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i out mim tonsoeep
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