Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
