She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
