Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
