she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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