Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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