sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
