she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
