Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
