i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It was confusing and full of hummus
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
