What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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