VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
