I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize