I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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