your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
