You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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