Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
