Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
