from now on my penis is your penis
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
