btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
