I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I cut my penus on the lid.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
