She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
