Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
