do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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