There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
