In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
