Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
