Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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