I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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