is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
