He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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