Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
