great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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