oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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