I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
