What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
