someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
