so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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