yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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