Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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