Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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