He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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