if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
