I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
