we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
