Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
