Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
either way he was missing a nipple.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
