phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
