Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
