absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
