The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
