they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
