he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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