i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
